A FOOL'S CRUSADE
Excerpt 2: Later in the story, our heroes end up on Tatooine. These scenes were inspired by the painting "No Country For Old Men" by Benjamin Carre.
As previously mentioned, this story was written in 2015, seven years before the Obi-Wan Kenobi series. Unfortunately, that series makes this story impossible within the official cannon. Still, I'm proud of the accomplishment that was writing this story and I'm heartened that I was able to incorporate themes and ideas used by professional writers.
EXT. TATOOINE - DUNE SEA; LATE MORNING
The skiff skims across the dessert. R2 and Euripides sit towards the rear of the skiff, near the SKIFF PILOT and FIRST MATE. Jar Jar is standing at the bow, ears flapping in the wind. He’s king of the world! He spies something on the horizon. Pointing at it,
he yells back at the pilot.
JAR JAR
Hey! Lookie! Lookie, lookie!
The pilot realizes the danger.
SKIFF PILOT
(cockney accent)
Sand storm. We’ll ‘ave ta find
cover!
The skiff changes course as the storm closes in.
EXT. TATOOINE - CANYON PASSAGE
The skiff reaches a rocky canyon just as the storm
hits. It’s not much shelter, but they are out of the worst of the storm.
SKIFF PILOT
We should be safe here. Help me up
with the cover, eh?
The crew begins pulling a thick canvas shelter cover over the
skiff. Euripides and Jar Jar protect their faces and help
out.
SKIFF PILOT
Don’t worry lads. As storms go,
this one’s none so bad. Should be
on our way soon.
There’s nothing to hear but howling winds and gravel
striking the skiff. Then something else is faintly heard
over the wind.
JAR JAR
You’s a hearin’ that?
EURIPIDES
What?
Beat. Jar Jar hears it again.
JAR JAR
That. Artidoo, you know knowing anything
there?
Artoo raises a scanner. The roar is heard again, this time
Euripides and the skiff crew hear it too. Tusken
Raiders! Artoo beeps to alert them.
SKIFF PILOT
San’ People!
The skiff crew abandon their work on the shelter cover. They draw their weapons and aim blindly off of the side of the skiff. Euripides does the same. Jar Jar crouches near
Artoo. Tusken cries echo off of the canyon walls. Artoo reports that they are surrounded.
Suddenly, a Tusken jumps onto the skiff; its face like that
of a mummified robot. It grabs the first mate and drags
him over the side. Two blaster shots ring out followed by
growling and a horrified scream. With that, the man is gone
forever.
EURIPIDES
(to the pilot)
We need to get out of here.
SKIFF PILOT
Agreed.
The pilot reaches for the skiff controls. WHAM! The skiff
is rammed by a charging bantha, an indigenous creature to
Tatooine. Bantha's are the size of an elephant with massive horns like
that of a ram. They are a favorite pack mount of the Tusken Raiders.
The passengers are rocked and Jar Jar and the pilot fall to
the ground; one more gracefully than the other. Euripides
jumps down after them.
Euripides helps Jar Jar to his feet. A Tusken appears
behind Euripides, ready to strike. From the skiff above, Artoo falls
on top of the raider, knocking it senseless.
Euripides and the pilot shoot at their attackers. But the
haze of the storm plays tricks on them as they fire blindly
at shadows.
EURIPIDES
Run for it!
Jar Jar and Artoo head down the canyon, followed by
Euripides. The pilot takes up the rear but is overwhelmed by
Tuskens and is killed. The heroes keep running until Jar Jar
skids to a halt. Their escape is blocked by three banthas
and over a dozen Tuskens.
The wind and sand make for fog-like conditions. The Tuskens
are quietly growling in anticipation of the slaughter to
come. They slowly close in on the heroes from all sides.
Artoo draws a couple of different weapons from his arsenal -
a torch welder and buzz saw. The end is near.
Suddenly, there is a ghastly howl behind the Tuskens. The raiders
ignore their prey and turn to view the source of the howl. A
lone figure climbs a rocky outcropping. Gray hair and brown
robes flutter in the wind. A blue lightsaber is ignited. He
is no mere man, but a legendary Jedi Knight. OBI-WAN KENOBI
to the rescue.
The Tuskens surround Obi-Wan and attack him. Obi-Wan jumps and flips
in the air. He lands among the Tuskens. The slicing and
dicing begins. Euripides begins shooting. Jar Jar and
Artoo also join the fight.
Jar Jar picks up a discarded gaderffii stick (the
traditional battle staff of the Tuskens) and begins
swinging. Unfortunately, Euripides does not pay attention to what Jar
Jar is doing and steps into Jar Jar’s back swing. Euripides
is struck on the head and accidentally knocked out.
A fortunate blow lands on Obi-Wan’s hand, knocking his
lightsaber to the ground. For a moment, Obi-Wan is
surrounded and apparently defenseless. He uses the Force to push
a handful of Tuskens, knocking them to the ground. He reaches
into his robes and pulls out a second lightsaber - one that
formerly belonged to Anakin Skywalker.
The fighting continues. Obi-Wan recovers his lightsaber and
concludes the fight with a weapon in each hand. The Tuskens
have had enough. Their leader makes a growling call and all
of them run off into the fog of the storm. Obi-Wan gives one
final howl in victory and deactivates the sabers.
Obi-Wan turns to the survivors. His facial features turn
from focus to surprise as he recognizes the Gungan.
OBI-WAN
By the Force! Jar Jar
Binks?! What in blazes are you
doing out here?
JAR JAR
(in disbelief)
Obi?
Artoo can’t believe it either.
JAR JAR
Obi Kenobi! Is you! It’s is you!
OBI-WAN
Come, my friend. We’d best get
indoors.
WIPE TO:
EXT. TATOOINE - OBI-WAN’S HOME; MIDDAY
The storm continues to howl.
INT. OBI-WAN’S HOME
Obi-Wan’s home isn’t much, but it’s shelter from the storm
outside. Euripides is laying back in a chair, his hand to
his throbbing head. He moans in discomfort.
Obi-Wan comes up to Euripides and hands him a bandage with some
medicinal herbs in it.
OBI-WAN
Here. Try this.
Euripides holds the bandage to his head.
EURIPIDES
Thank you.
JAR JAR
So good seeing you’s a again.
Obi-Wan’s home is sparsely furnished. A small sofa, a chair
and a stool are all the seating he has to offer. Obi-Wan
takes a seat upon the stool.
OBI-WAN
Indeed.
Obi-Wan gives his attention to Euripides.
OBI-WAN
(continued)
Pardon me for not properly
introducing myself, I’m Ben Kenobi.
EURIPIDES
Euripides. You already seem to
know Mr. Binks here.
JAR JAR
We’s a know each other long-o time
ago.
OBI-WAN
Seeing you again brings back a lot
of old memories. Sadly, not all of
them... are... pleasant.
Artoo chirps in agreement. Euripides sits up in his chair
and puts the bandage down.
EURIPIDES
I don’t mean to sound rude, but are
you the infamous Jedi General
Kenobi? Hero of the Clone Wars.
Artoo chirps.
OBI-WAN
Ah, no. You have me confused with
my brother, Obi-Wan. I was a
Padawan learner, but I fell in love
with a woman named Satine and left
the Jedi Order many years ago.
Euripides is unconvinced. Obi-Wan is not a good liar.
EURIPIDES
I see. Yet you kept your
lightsabers...?
OBI-WAN
My brother found me after the fall
of the Jedi. We were pursued by
the Empire. He was gravely wounded
and died shortly after we came
here. His grave is out yonder if
you wish to pay your respects.
EURIPIDES
That won’t be necessary.
There is a moment of silence. Euripides does not believe
the story and Obi-Wan knows it.
​
Jar Jar changes the subject.
JAR JAR
We’s a needin’ transport to Mosses
Eisley. Eurippie’s ship is
there. Obi, Gungan people been
forced from Naboo. Queen
o’Alderaan try to be helpin’
us. But she an’ the little Leia
Princess gone missing with Gungan
people.
The news is surprising and upsetting to Obi-Wan.
OBI-WAN
Senator Organa’s family? The
Princess?
EURIPIDES
They were captured by pirates in
the Abregado system. That R2 unit
hacked the pirate’s navigation
systems. They’ve taken the Queen
to Gethsoom.
JAR JAR
We’s a could really use-a help,
Obi.
Obi-Wan struggles for words. Jedi normally control their
emotions, but the conflict inside Obi-Wan is apparent.
OBI-WAN
Senator Organa was a friend. If I
did not have obligations here, I
would gladly help you look for his
daughter. I’m sorry but I can’t
leave Tatooine. I can’t help you.
Obi-Wan fights back tears. Euripides isn’t overly
surprised. Jar Jar is disappointed. They say nothing as
there is nothing to say.
OBI-WAN
Get some rest. When the storm
passes, I will arrange for
transport.
Artoo coos.
WIPE TO:
INT. OBI-WAN’S HOME; HOURS LATER
Jar Jar awakens suddenly from a nap. Euripides is snoring
in a nearby chair. Jar Jar gets to his feet, stretches and
then curiously makes his way to the door.
EXT. TATOOINE - OBI-WAN’S HOME; AFTERNOON
The storm has past. Jar Jar protects himself from the suns
light as he looks outside. Obi-Wan is standing among the
stones and calls into the air. The call is much different
than the one he used during the fight with the Tusken
Raiders. Obi-Wan turns to see Jar Jar and smiles.
JAR JAR
What you’s a doin’?
OBI-WAN
Calling for our rides.
Jar Jar sits down on a rock and looks around at the scenery
of Tatooine.
JAR JAR
Never me’s a thought be here ’gain.
OBI-WAN
Funny how things turn out, isn’t
it? Tell me, Jar Jar, what is
going on out there? The locals who
will speak to me don’t have the
most reliable information.
JAR JAR
(his mood darkens)
Empire growin’ stronger. People
tradin’ freedom away. But there a
rebellion out there, Obi. No not
everyone giving up on good.
Obi-Wan nods his head in approval of the growing
rebellion. He then asks a very dark question.
OBI-WAN
And what can you tell me of Darth
Vader?
Jar Jar becomes fearful at the mention of the name.
JAR JAR
No. No can say. Too
’fraid. Horrible things he go done
to Gungan people. Horrible
things...
Darth Vader led the subjugation of the Gungans. It was his
forces that destroyed their homes and enslaved their
race. Vader rounded up all of the Gungan leaders and
personally executed all of them - except for Jar Jar who
witnessed all of it.
Jar Jar looks up into the sky and sees an
amazing sight. A massive shadow passes over him and a
shrill cry fills the air. Obi-Wan looks up as well and
casually announces:
OBI-WAN
Ah, our rides are here.
Euripides emerges from Obi-Wan’s home. His fatigue and
grogginess turn to amazed surprise as he sees three KRAYT
DRAGONS fly over the hut. These massive creatures have been
part of Tatooine lore since the planet was
colonized. Most believe that the dragons were on the verge
of extinction when the planet was first settled long ago and
that any recent sightings are just the result of heat
exhaustion and overactive imaginations. Few have actually
seen them this close and survived to tell of the encounter.
The dragons circle over Obi-Wan’s home and land among the
outcropping of rocks. One of the dragons gives a loud roar.
WIPE TO:
EXT. TATOOINE - DUNE SEA; LATE DAY
The Krayt dragons glide gracefully over the
dessert. Obi-Wan rides the lead dragon with Jar Jar and
Euripides following behind. The last dragon holds Artoo in
its claws. Artoo lets out a:
ARTOO
Wahoooooo!
...as the dragon flies past the camera position. The camera
pans, following the dragons. Their destination, the city of
Mos Eisley, can be seen in the distance.
EXT. TATOOINE - OUTSKIRTS OF MOS EISLEY
Obi-Wan lands his dragon. The other dragons follow and the
riders begin to dismount.
OBI-WAN
I’m afraid we’ll have to part
here. These creatures are
extremely rare and I don’t want to
catch the attention of poachers
living inside the city.
EURIPIDES
Understood.
Obi-Wan walks over to Jar Jar’s dragon as the Gungan
dismounts and hops gracefully to the sand.
OBI-WAN
I’m sorry to do this to you my
friend...
Obi-Wan waves his hand in front of Jar Jar and attempts a Jedi mind trick.
OBI-WAN
(continued)
But you must not tell anyone where
I am.
JAR JAR
(unaffected)
Okey-day.
Obi-Wan is a bit confused and tries the mind trick again.
OBI-WAN
You must not tell anyone that
you’ve seen me.
JAR JAR
Got it. Mine no tell. What you
doin’ with you’s a hand like that?
Obi-Wan smiles. Mind tricks will not work on Jar Jar. Jar
Jar may be simple minded, but he is not weak
minded. Obi-Wan hugs him.
OBI-WAN
Farewell, my friend. Find the
Princess Leia. She’s more
important than you realize.
Jar Jar heads off towards the city. Obi-Wan approaches
Euripides, who has his back to Obi-Wan and is admiring the
setting suns.
EURIPIDES
During the Clone Wars, I operated
behind Separatist lines. Gathering
intel, feeding misinformation, even
rescued my fair share of Clones and
a few Jedi after that mess on Cato
Nemoidia.
Obi-Wan’s expression turns to surprise and
understanding. As a Jedi General, he had information of
operatives loyal to the Republic who were working in secret
behind enemy lines. He knew of the deeds Euripides
accomplished but never actually learned his true
identity. He is finally able to connect the dots.
OBI-WAN
You were the operative we nicknamed
The Ghost’s Shadow.
Euripides turns to face Obi-Wan and smiles wryly.
EURIPIDES
Nah... I was just a foolish
crusader.
OBI-WAN
(smiles)
We all were.
Euripides places a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder.
EURIPIDES
I won’t tell anyone your secret if
you don’t tell anyone mine.
Obi-Wan nods in agreement.
OBI-WAN
May the Force be with you.
Euripides follows after Jar Jar. Artoo rolls past
Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan pats the droid on the head as he passes.
OBI-WAN
Take good care of them Artoo.
Artoo chirps an acknowledgment as he wheels away.
Euripides, Jar Jar and R2 head towards the city. Jar Jar stops and
looks back at Obi-Wan. Euripides does the same. They
watch as Obi-Wan and the dragons rise up into the air, turn, and
fly towards the setting suns of Tatooine.
​